“I’m 11 now and will be 12 next month. Right now I am sitting on my bed because mom got mad at me and sent me to my room. I’m supposed to be sleeping, but I’m not. I’m just so mad at mom!”
Those emotional words were written by little-7th-grade-me on November 23, 1997 according to the Mickey and Minnie Mouse Diary recently rediscovered while sorting through some boxes in the garage.
Confession: I Have been an anxious mess the last few weeks.
Shootings. Hate. Uncertainty. Hunger. Political unrest. Confusion and tragedy.
You can add these to the list things that aren’t being reported and commented on every 15 seconds: Cancer. Conflict between friends. Loss of a job. Change. Sickness. Worry and weariness.
At night, I lie awake and wonder what will happen tomorrow? Will I be prepared?
Did you know the year is half over already? That’s right! There are only 6 months left in 2016!
In January, I set a goal to read 2 books a month, and by Gods’ grace, I have exceeded that goal, with a whopping 16 books read in the last 6 months. (WHAT?!!)
Everything I have ever read about goal setting encourages you to break down large goals into smaller action steps. Those seemingly small steps are easier to manage, and almost magically add up, getting you closer and closer to the BIG ONE. A little momentum keeps you motivated to continue pressing on towards what you want, and then BAM! you have read 16 books in 6 months, which sounds just crazy to me to even type out.
It is easy to forget that we need each other. That we weren’t meant to live this life alone. And then sometimes we look at the people we are surrounded with and can wish that we were by ourselves!
Relationships are probably one of the most highly rewarding and yet exceedingly confusing parts of this life. (Can I get an AMEN?!) And friendships seem to be at the top of the I-wish-I-had-them-but-not-sure-how-to-get-them wish list for women.
This week, the Bible study workbook I am doing with a group of ladies at church asked us to describe the image that comes to mind when we hear the word “overflow.”
The author wrote this, “ water gurgling up from various underground mineral springs in the beautiful Canadian Rocky Mountains.” **
This is what I wrote, “Ack! Not the toilet again!!”
My close second was, “This is why mommy doesn’t let you pour your own juice.”
In any case, the word overflow means that something is spilling over because the container is filled beyond its capacity. The question is, what is spilling over?
Ever see a withered plant? Shriveled leaves. Droopy stems. You can almost hear the thirsty plant cry out “Water! Water!”
Each year our garden tends to look like this when I neglect to remember to water it. (Sorry tomatoes!)
Our souls can end up suffering this way as well. Withering beneath the hot sun of hardship. Leaves shriveled up from going too long without refreshment. Stems drooping toward the earth, weak from carrying the burdens of this life.
The eve of summer is upon us. We eagerly anticipate warmer, slower days. An end to the hustle of homework and schoolwork that leaves room for more leisurely activities (maybe).
At our house, the last day of first grade commenced last week, and so we have seen an expansion in the time allotted to…something.
We are only on day three of “summer break”, and yesterday the kids chattily confessed to Daddy the shocking amount of Netflix Mommy let them watch all day instead of the usual “no TV time until after school” rule. ;- /
Yesterday, I yelled at my kids. My throat hurt afterwards, and my son ended up underneath our school table crying while my daughter screamed back how much she didn’t like “mean mom.”
I meant everything I said about how they needed to pick up after themselves, stop quarreling and show some more appreciation and gratitude. But I wasn’t just overwhelmed with them. The dirty dishes, the demands of life, the problems of other people, my own inadequacies and the fear of not being enough were all crashing around my mind and crushing at my soul.
Have you ever been there?
Overwhelmed with a million different things? Beaten down simultaneously by the sameness of your life as well as the ever-moving tide of change?
The last two years, I have been working with my son to learn how to read, and it has not always been a fun time. In fact, recently he informed me that he would rather go sit in some poop than do school together. 😉
Learning the letters, the sounds that they make by themselves and the the sounds that they make when blended with other letter sounds is exhausting enough to bring us both to tears on some days. So why do we do it?
Reading and understanding are fundamental to life as we know it.
How will everyone know I am a good mom if I don’t post a fun selfie of all of us smiling at the park?
What will I put in the family photo book for April if we don’t take any pictures?
How will I remember what is important if I can’t freeze it in time and print it out?
These are questions that have been rolling around in my mind recently…. and I don’t have all the answers yet.